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The perfect shirt?

I’ve spent the better part of my life figuring out what kind of shirt looks best on me.

For a long time, it was only v-necks. I think this was because my chest was so large that I needed that skin exposure to make me feel less top heavy. It didn’t always work, but it made me feel better.

Fast forward to today. I’ve had a breast reduction/tummy tuck and have a lot more freedom with shapes of shirts. I also can do a French tuck! As much as I wanted to love my FUPA, I never quite got there (exploring that in another post, I promise).

This shirt was not on my radar. As colorful as it is, which is normally my MO, I just kept passing on it. It wasn’t until I went to an 11 Honore Trunk Show that it really sang. And by sang, I mean a woman named Jessica shoved it into the makeshift dressing room when I said I had nothing to wear with a skirt I was trying on.

Side note, the women and men that work at 11 Honore are really spectacular people. Honestly. When a fat woman loves designer clothes, that is one tiny shopping pool. Tiny, tiny pool. But, this company is crazy amazing and curates plus size clothing from designers and then sells them to people like me. I love them and will explore my time at New York Fashion week and 11 Honore next week.

So this shirt. This shirt is sublime. Anytime I need something casual? Works. Fancy? Works. Jeans? Works. Lightweight? Works. Layering piece? Works. Beautiful detailing in its construction and FITS MY ARMS AMMMIRITE? I paired this round with distressed black jeans, my new (men’s) Gucci slides, and a belt bag. No v-neck, but hey we can’t win em all.

Principle Photography Gina Fippin

Prabal Gurung Flounce Blouse: 11 Honore / The Best Black Jeans Ever: Asos / Chloe Belt Bag: Net-a-Porter in Red / Gucci (men’s for my wide feet) Loafers that are apparently called Slippers: Gucci


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10 years down

I don’t remember exactly when I fell down the rabbit hole when it comes to David, but I do remember that when I did, it was a short and quick fall.

David and I met in March, were engaged by August, and were married the following September. We had no need to rush and we were still pretty young. Hell, he was my first real relationship at that point. However, every decision we made felt like the right one. It never felt rushed, even though looking back on it now, I would probably tell my 25 year old self (24 when we met) to slow it down and savor it. Savor the courtship and then really savor our time being married and alone. We have 2 wonderful kiddos, but if anything slingshots marriage into turbo speed, it’s kids.

And now here we are. 11.5 years in, 10 years married. And I’m sitting here wondering where it all went. How did all that time pass? And have we been good to it?

Our marriage is a pretty real one. We love and fight with vigor. The first few years were harder than I think either of us wanted. We were trying so hard to highlight the things that were different between us instead of celebrating them. And making the move from single to being held accountable to another person was difficult for me. We have had our fair shares of marriage therapists and even have one now that we see to make sure we are communicating fairly and kindly (Shout out to Dr. T!). To really round it all out, David and I work together. We have a photography business called ArrowMaker Media and we are lifestyle photographers. So, marriage+family+jobs. We are quite enmeshed.

And we freaking love it. And we wanted to celebrate it! There is a restaurant here in Sacramento called South. We visited it the first time together after a therapy session actually. IT IS SO GOOD. And lemme tell you, they are wonderful to work with. We hosted 50 of our closest family and friends for a night of good food and good drinks and it was perfect.

Since we were the guests of honor, we asked Chantel of Eleakis and Elder to photograph the evening. It is an amazing feeling to have wildly talented people of industry surround your own event. Chantel was warm and captured the evening exactly as we felt it.

One of my favorite parts were the calls and texts asking me what I was wearing. I told everyone it was casual and they would usually answer, “Yeah, but like Joan casual?” meaning that even in casual wear, I look a little fancier than the average bear.

I chose a simple, black dress and fantastic Stuart Weitzman pearl sandals. The earrings were fantastically strange, an impulse buy from H&M. The dress was shorter than I normally wear since my bootie can make short dresses basically inappropriate in the back, but this dress is a high low hem so it solved that problem easily. And I was comfortable all night. Even in the heels. I’m also sure all the rosé helped.

David, I love you. I’m ready for another 10. Maybe even 20.


Photography by Eleakis & Elder / Host Restaurant South

Black Swing Dress (Now on Sale!!): Boohoo / Pearl Embellished Heeled Sandals: Stuart Weitzman / Eye Heart Earrings: H&M (out of stock!) Similar shape here