As I sit here hungover from my dear friend’s annual NYEE party, I’m scrolling through all the Facebook and Instagram posts recapping the garbage fire that was 2018. I can appreciate posts like this because I do feel it is helpful to look back on the year that we had and tap ourselves on the bottom to say good job. As well as to say thank you! There were a lot of people that were incredibly supportive this year, so a well timed reach out to say, “I couldn’t have done it without you,” is always nice to hear.
What I will be passing over however, is the good ol’ New Years Resolution. I fucking hate these things. Not because they set people up to fail (which they do), but this begins the onslaught of “How do I get un-fat?” The Weight Watcher ads ramp up, the gym becomes a complete cluster-fuck, and the guilt of the end of the year festivities comes crushing down on society.
I. Will. Not. Have. It.
You wanna know what’s gonna happen tomorrow? Its Tuesday, so I’ll do whatever the fuck it is I usually do on Tuesdays. What I will not be doing is shame spiraling about my weight and how I look.
Companies that monetize weight loss rely on women to feel bad about the foods they ate and the drinks they drank during the holiday season. It’s common for most people, regardless of their body type, to eat and drink more than they normally would in the last few months of the year. Straight size bodies are encouraged to start the new year with promises of organizing their homes or finally getting started on that new project. The reactions I have received when my New Years resolution wasn’t “to get in shape,” were most often of disbelief. How could that NOT be my resolution? Apparently that should be on the top of my list since being fat is so dangerous for my health/won’t let me snag a man/makes people feel so uncomfortable/etc…All the reasons why I should is because my fat is easy to see. It’s harder to tell a straight size person they should hit the gym in the new year because you are concerned for their health. This lie is what companies like Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, and Nutrisystems cling to to help keep the money rolling in.
If you have a strong desire to make changes regarding your body, be for health or vanity, you do you. There is no time limit on this (other than the one we all reach at the end). But you are not a failure if this shit doesn’t happen starting the first week in January. Do not let someone tell you it all has to happen now.
In short, tomorrow isn’t any different than today. I’m not going to spend my time promising myself that next week will be different and that what I have spent the last year working on wasn’t good enough. I don’t need, nor want, a looming deadline regarding my weight and I certainly don’t need anyone else making money off of society manipulated insecurities. Being happy with where I am today, hungover from a good time and in bed till I drag my ass to spin at 4:30) is as good as this is gonna get.